I started off 2011 in a fit of tears.
You know the kind. You try to choke them back until they overpower you, leaving you emotionally open and vulnerable to the world that surrounds you? Yes. That was me. Standing in a room full of people, but alone with God. At that moment, I felt more peace and solitude than I had felt in a very long time.
The tears, were flowing from a place at the bottom of my heart; much deeper than the joy of seeing a new year. I was filled with gratitude for all of the things I had been blessed with in 2010, namely, my first degree…the people I met…overall health and general happiness. But along with the gratitude, I felt a slight twinge of insecurity.
I have been climbing this mountain toward success, but I’m at the point where the clouds are covering the peak. I have no idea where my foot will land next. It’s that unsure feeling that can really take you to a dark place of fear, that is, if you let it. It’s very similar to that feeling you get when you’re about to fall over, and you find yourself desperately flailing your arms and grasping for something to hold on to… to steady yourself… for security.
Life can have that effect on you. The challenge is pressing past those feelings. Just because you’re at a point in your climb that prevents you from seeing the peak, doesn’t mean that it is not there. That’s where faith comes in. It’s the perfect pictorial example of “the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen”.
On my way home from my new year’s festivities, (I was at church, by the way) I found myself engulfed in another sea of emotion after really absorbing the words to the New Year’s tune For Auld Lang Syne, which simply translates to for time gone by. Many things, both good and not so good, happened over the past 12 months. The song, reminded me that everything happens in grand design; continuously shaping you into the person that you were meant to be.
So with my cup of kindness, I made a proverbial toast to the time that had gone by, letting go of the ills of 2010, and preparing to reach for that next step toward destiny’s peak in 2011.
Knowing full well that my journey to the top will be non traditional, I’ve claimed the greatness that I know I am capable of achieving in the new year, and you’re all welcome on the journey.