Sometimes I sit back and think about all of the blessings I missed out on because I was either focused on what someone else was doing, or too scared to go after them myself. It’s probably not the most productive use of time, but… it happens and I’m sure I’m not the only one who does so.
It’s slightly ironic. Sometimes, we lose sight of what we have by looking at that which we don’t, when in actuality what we have is just what we need to gain what we’re seeking. It’s easy to get distracted by what other people are doing, especially in our all-digital-all-the-time lifestyle. We can scroll through Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook to take a glance at small squares of people’s lives, the squares that they allowed us to see. Of course, what we don’t remember, is exactly that… those are only glimpses of the entire story, and though a picture can be worth a thousand words, those thousand words may not be enough to tell it all.
Over the last few months I’ve gone through a few changes professionally, and in the process I feel like I lost sight of my goals. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I lost my identity, because I never forgot who I was, nor WHOSE I was, but I did temporarily forget what I was doing. Part of that, I can admit, was based on comparing myself to others who were doing similar work. Specifically with my blogs, I tried to emulate things that I saw other people doing… I even tried to change my voice. I looked up the highway and saw people ahead of me, so I got out of my lane chasing something that wasn’t for me. Now looking back, that was probably the worst mistake I could have made. Not only did I not excel, but I probably regressed. I found it hard to maintain consistency because I wasn’t being true to myself or my mission. I was hit with all of those feelings of self-doubt… the “Am I good enough” questions started ringing off in my head… and for just a little while, I believed the negative, and I let myself spiral downward. My only enemy was me…and I almost quit writing altogether. Keyword, almost. That, would have been a major fail.
While on my fast, I had to shut myself down completely, start from scratch, and write out my goals. I was reminded of the scripture which says “when there’s no vision, the people get out of control, but whoever obeys instruction is happy.” (Prov. 29:18 CEB) I had the instruction, but I was ignoring it. I stopped ignoring it. The vision was written, but it wasn’t being followed. I started following it again. Once you get to a place where you’re frustrated with your situation, you’ll make the decision to do better. I was too through with underachieving. Now I’m back on track. I even kept this note to myself up throughout the month of May so that I could see it on a daily basis:
Have you ever found yourself taking yourself out of your lane? If so, how did you get back on track? Share with me.